Sunday, April 11, 2010

What if...

What if it can't be fixed? What if we've reached the point of no return?

How long can we live like this? Co-existing, not connecting on even the most simple level. We don't sleep together. We don't eat together. We don't DO anything together.

I'm becoming uncomfortable in my own home. I can't wait until Monday mornings when he leaves for work. I feel this huge sense of relief. Not because I don't want to be near him but because being near him, knowing that he's so unsure right now about us, hurts too much.

The one person I could always depend on to be my rock isn't there anymore. I feel like I'm living with a ghost.

At what point do we step back and say, "We've done all we could but it's just not enough.". And what happens after that?


  1. I guess it's when you can't take one more day, one more hour, one more minute living this way. As for where you go from there... only you and he know for sure. Just know that whatever happens, you have friends that care and support you.

  2. Oh I wish I could give ya a great big hug, I am not far behind ya. We can get through this, I hope, I think we can I think we can!!!!

  3. I'm trying. It's taking more of a toll on me than I thought it would. It's easy to put on a face during the day. But at night.. that's when it gets really hard. I didn't get married to sleep alone every night. Ok, well.. technically I'm not alone. My trusty side kick Tennessee is here with me. But a pooch, while lovable, isn't the same.

  4. Just reading your blog Michelle and I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. I've been going through the same exact thing for months...hence the reasons for a lot of my status'. Only my issues are so much more complicated. I'll have to tell you about them someday thru email or something. I've been having the same feelings lately of trying to decide when is there a point of no return. & I'll ask you what everyone has asked there someone else? really sucks is all i can say living like this. My kids are what keep me going.

  5. There's no one else. At least not for me. He insists the same is true for him. However, I have a feeling in my gut that I can't kick.