Friday, April 2, 2010


The tone of my blog is about to change. For once I'm not holding anything back. It will all be real with no sugar coating.

I feel like I'm at the beginning of journey. I have no idea where I'm going nor where I will end up. I expect bumps and bruises along the way. I do know, one way or another I will reach the end in one piece, strong and exactly where I need to be.

My marriage is falling apart at it's seams with mere threads are holding it together at this point. The threads of obligation and necessity. Standing alone neither of them are very conducive to a happy marriage. My husband and I barely look at one another, let alone talk. I'm a talker. He isn't. Since communication is vital to any relationship this disparity between us is crippling any attempt to fix things. So I've decided to take a step back. We need some metaphorical space between us. I love him. I'm in love with him most days. But he's in a place where he's unhappy and unsure if he wants to be married to me anymore. There.. I said it. Out loud. For other people to see. I've been keeping it to myself because saying it makes it real.

I've been bottling everything up for months and I can't take it anymore. It's eating me up inside. I need to let it out. Even if only my closest friends read this I will be sharing this burden with other people. I can't shoulder it alone anymore.

I'm not an open person with very many people. I have a very small, close knit group of friends. I call them my inner circle. So at times this blog may come across as it's not intended too. I apologize in advance for this. But I expect this to be a hard journey possibly with an outcome I don't think I want...


  1. oh sweety ((hugs)) I am sorry you are going through this and if you need anything I am always here for you even if I need to take a bus to PA and hug you all day!!!

  2. Good for you. you said it and it is out there and I am sure you feel like a major "weight" has been lifted. Under no circumstances is it ever easy. Be true to yourself and you will survive. True Happiness is a strange can not give it to someone or make it happen for someone...they need to do it on their own. Be good to yourself and happiness will follow. I am possibly living in the same situation as you are right now.....hope the weather changes....:)

  3. I'm only a phone call away and my house is always open to you if you need to get away. LOVE YA!

  4. I'm so sorry, Michelle. I've been where you are and we were lucky enough to fix things. But whatever happens, I hope that it's the right thing for YOU. But knowing you, you'll make it work, no matter how rough it may be. And although we've lost touch, I'm still here anytime you need me. ::hugs::