I have no idea what the hell I'm doing.
Counseling?? I'll be honest with you, despite my belief that counseling CAN help some people in some situations, this woman seems a little off the wall. I know, I know... three sessions is hardly enough to make a difference nor for me to get a true feel for someone but.. I dunno... he's so adamant that he's only doing this to appease (now isn't that special?) me that I have to wonder why I'm wasting fifty bucks and an hour or more every week.
A job. Can I just tell you how the thought of working in any retail establishment makes me want to hurl. But where the hell else am I going to find a job with my limited job skills? I've spent eighteen years being chief bottle washer and diaper changer. Granted my diaper changing days ended some years ago but you know what I mean.
The "plan" had always included me going back to school at some point. I mean after all, for the last eighteen years he's built a name for himself within his industry and has climbed the proverbial corporate ladder. After being by his side through all of that my reward is a job working my ass off at Wal Mart for peanuts AND raising six kids mostly by myself?? Well golly gee! Aren't I the lucky one??? (Yes I AM being sarcastic AND using a certain obscene gesture.)
And what the hell is this notion of his that we can "co~exist"? Be married but well.. not in the way that really counts in the end. Is he flippin' serious????? Just how long does he think we can play that little game??? Until he decides which little home wrecking, whore he wants to be his new victim... ummm.. err.. wife?
But then I think... well ok.. maybe I can do this.. this "co~existing" thing. What are the rules?? Or conditions?? If you prefer that word instead. How does one even begin to process something like that. Is there a rule book out there somewhere which explains, in detail, how a married couple goes from being a married couple, to being a married couple but in name only?
If I wasn't the one dealing with all of this I might actually find this situation amusing and entertaining. However, it's MY life so I'm less inclined to enjoy it. Imagine that.