It feels different this year. Like it means something. To me. On a personal level. I never imagined I'd be facing life as a possible divorced single parent of six. I didn't get married thinking it wouldn't be forever.
But as I should know at my age things don't always turn out the way we planned.
I don't know what the future holds for my marriage. I don't know if in a year we'll look back and think "Wow.. we almost screwed it all up.". I don't know if we'll be able to fix whatever it is that's broken.
He and I are in different places right now. I need to focus on myself and moving forward to the next phase. I loved being a stay at home parent. Most of the time. I won't lie and say I loved every second of it. But I was present for all of the most important moments in my kids lives.
But let's face it. They're all in school full time now. For about six to seven hours a day I am alone. With no one other than some furry friends to talk to. I'm bored. Really bored. And I think that may be 99% of MY issues with myself.
I need a part time job. I need to take some class or classes. I need to do both. And soon. Now to just get over that nasty social anxiety disorder thing, lol.. I am so NOT a people person. Where can one find a job where one does not have to interact with people? Ever. Like... at all. I know.. tall order.