Sunday, July 4, 2010

Independence Day...

It feels different this year. Like it means something. To me. On a personal level. I never imagined I'd be facing life as a possible divorced single parent of six. I didn't get married thinking it wouldn't be forever.

But as I should know at my age things don't always turn out the way we planned.

I don't know what the future holds for my marriage. I don't know if in a year we'll look back and think "Wow.. we almost screwed it all up.". I don't know if we'll be able to fix whatever it is that's broken.

He and I are in different places right now. I need to focus on myself and moving forward to the next phase. I loved being a stay at home parent. Most of the time. I won't lie and say I loved every second of it. But I was present for all of the most important moments in my kids lives.

But let's face it. They're all in school full time now. For about six to seven hours a day I am alone. With no one other than some furry friends to talk to. I'm bored. Really bored. And I think that may be 99% of MY issues with myself.

I need a part time job. I need to take some class or classes. I need to do both. And soon. Now to just get over that nasty social anxiety disorder thing, lol.. I am so NOT a people person. Where can one find a job where one does not have to interact with people? Ever. Like... at all. I know.. tall order.

1 comment:

  1. You'd love my job.. no not the photography thing... the one that actually pays the bills and puts gas in the tank. I very rarely have to truly interact with people. Sure I talk to my boss a few times a day but that's about it.. seriously. I very rarely have to talk to customers and most of my time is spend working on the computer (not anything hard either). It's the worlds best.. albiet one of the most boring.. job ever!