Thursday, July 15, 2010

Don't ask, don't tell...

It's been a little while since I've blogged. There really isn't a whole lot to tell. He does his thing. I do mine. I don't ask him what he's doing, he doesn't ask me what I'm doing.

I'm trying to surround myself with people who I know care and/or just "get it". I've taken my therapeutic writing to a more private venue.

If I'm being honest with myself, my marriage as I knew it, is over. We've reached the point of no return. I'm not really sure how I feel about that. I'm trying to take my own advice and just take things one day at a time. I do what needs to be done. I do things I want to do. I try not to think too much beyond the next twenty-four hours. I feel like I'm repeating myself. I've said this all before.

The next step is to find something I enjoy doing and make money doing it. I've been told this really is an easy thing to do. I'm about to find out. In the meantime, I need to at the very least find a part time job. I keep telling myself that once the kids are back in school I'll be able to focus on that. Yes, I am procrastinating and avoiding. Cut me some slack! This is all new territory for me. I am a creature of habit. The surest way to wig me out is too change the dynamics on me.

My forty-first birthday is just around the corner. At one time I thought that was the most ominous thing I was facing. How wrong I was. I don't feel forty-one. Some days I feel as if ninety is looming on the horizon. Some days I don't feel a day over twenty-five. Although the body doesn't fit that image. Hey! One can pretend!

I have no idea what the hell I'm saying right now. I have a wicked case of writer's block... (I do not consider the above anywhere near my best work...)

Time to start the day...

1 comment:

  1. I'm so sorry about all of this.. if you ever need to talk please know I'm always here for you.. if you want let me know and I will send you my phone number... with you being so awesome with your crafts how about opening your own shop to teach or getting paid to do other's scrap books? That way your making money and or you could open a store on ebay for making ribbons and tutu's and such....Then you could take your time of finding something else in the meantime that you find a great joy in also :)