I'm not going to sit here and say I'm feeling wonderful and ready to face the future head on with confidence and bold optimism. That'd be a bold faced lie. I'm feeling... better. I'm feeling cautiously optimistic. I'm not a complete blithering idiot. I've survived tough times before and I can do it again.
I sort of let the cat out of the bag with my parents today. My Mom called to tell me about something and then asked about stopping by and leaving my brother here for the night. I panicked. So I blurted out that it was a bad time. She immediately got suspicious. Mom radar. I ended our call quickly but then started to stew about it.
I knew THEY'D stew and worry. Because ya' know she turned to my Dad right then and there and told him what I said. So, being the coward, chicken shit that I am, I quickly tapped out an e-mail. Kept it simple and to the point. Didn't lay blame all at the Buffoon's feet. When I clicked send I got the spinning circle and then a message that "they" were unable to send mail and to please try again later. UGH! Just when I had worked up the nerve.
I mentioned the above to a friend. They suggested that it might not be the best (or most adult) way of telling them. It required a discussion. After snorting a few times and pouting a teensy bit, lol, I realized they're right. One problem.. it turns out the e-mail DID send after all. So I'm waiting with baited, nervous breath for the call and/or e-mail I'm bound to get from one or both of my parents.
I suspect they may have heard a whispering or two from someone already. So this may not come as a complete shock to them I mean, I DO lay it all out there for the world to see here on my blog. I probably SHOULD have told them before I started telling the masses huh?
I really hate it when I realize I probably didn't handle something the best way possible. Eh.. I'm human.