I really wish...

...people would mind their own damn business!!! I just received a lovely (sarcasm intended) e-mail from someone who seems to think that they know what's best for ME. Really??? Bite me bitch! I'd LIKE to use a different word here but I am a lady and I hate that word but it's the first one that came to mind when I read the e-mail.

Let's get something straight, in case anyone else feels the need to tell ME how to run MY life, I FOUGHT HARD TO TRY AND SAVE MY MARRIAGE THANK YOU VERY MUCH!! But I'll be damned if I was going to stand by and be treated like a piece of a dirt by the blithering idiot I married. HE did this. HE made this choice. HE created this situation and HE has been a world class asshole for months. Key word here folks?? HE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Got it?? Good!

So please, unless I ask you for your advice, (pardon my language) STAY. THE FUCK. OUT OF MY BUSINESS!!!!!!! Because the next time you send me an e-mail like that I'll be at your front door and I'll show you just how much of a bitch I can be sweetheart!

Shannon-isms

God I love this kid!!!!!! Shannon, Deb's daughter; age 8, is such a PIP!!!!!

We're sitting around discussing what we named our kids (we meaning me and Deb) and what the girls want to name their kids. That they're not having for another 30 years:) So I started rattling off my kids names. First and middle.

Shannon pipes up with "What's the buffalo's middle name???" I paused. The buffalo??? I looked at her and asked "who?". She says, "Ya' know what you call Skip.. the buffalo." Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! "You mean the buffoon???". "Yeah, that's it!", she says.

Hmmm.. maybe I'll start calling him "the buffalo" now... Kind of catchy??

Survived....

I'd been dreading this weekend for months. The buffoon's nephew got married yesterday. I was not welcome at the wedding. As per the buffoon. (and more likely his family) He wouldn't have been able to have a good time with me there, was his excuse. snort... really? Like I give a rat's ass about that. However, the bottom line is, I have far too much class and far too much pride in myself to have gone. I know when I'm not wanted.

So I anticipated this weekend would be a very rough one for me. Guess what? It wasn't. Not even close. I don't think my mind wandered to the wedding more than a few times. And, again because I have class, it was simply to think to myself that I hoped Joseph and Elyssa's day was beautiful.

Other than that I spent this weekend with the people who REALLY matter in my life. People who I trust and love and who have been there beside me through all of this. And I had fun. Actually I had an amazing weekend. So the buffoon and his cronies can kiss my ass:)~

I also received an e-mail this weekend from my Aunt Liz. That in and of itself isn't unusual. We e-mail back and forth on a regular basis. She lives in California so e-mail is our main form of communication. She has known about everything that has been going on since practically day one. She said something this time that really blew me away BUT also was a light bulb moment for me. She said that she always felt like the buffoon talked down to me. After my initial shock, that she thought that at all, passed it hit me. She is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!!!

He HAS always talked down to me and treated me as if I were a child. He has never supported me in anything, has never stood up for me and he has always viewed my opinions and ideas as stupid and unworthy of his time and attention. I was, in essence, an afterthought for him. A fixture in the house to be taken for granted. And I just took it. I'm an idiot!

Well my eyes are wide open now. My feelings and opinions have been validated by others. While I can't, and won't, say that I am blameless in all of this I was certainly more committed than he was to THE MARRIAGE and OUR FAMILY.

Now? I am committed to my kids and myself. It's time to make ME happy too. He (the buffoon) told me once when this all first started that part of the problem was that he needed to "find himself". Find himself?? What the hell is this? An episode of Dr. Phil.

I'll find him alright. I'll find his ass right out the door. As I recall HE has spent the last eighteen years building his career and making a name for himself in his field while I was chief diaper changer and bottle washer. Now?? Now that I actually may have had a shot at going back to school like WE planned all along?? NOW he up and decides he doesn't want to be married me anymore???? Nice. And he wonders why people think he's an ass?? Please. (insert eye roll)

What WAS I think all those years ago? Can I blame it on youth and naivety??

Had to share...

I have tons of web sites saved to my favorite places. I MIGHT visit four web sites regularly. Meaning once a day. Others I visit once and MIGHT find again a second time.

I'm a quote freak. I love them. Funny, inspirational, sarcastic. Love them! So I have an entire folder devoted to web sites featuring famous and original quotes. As I'm scanning down the list of sites and my eyes catches the words "quote garden" and "sex" and I think.. "Ooooo!" (I know.. how juvenile.)

I click on the link and find myself on a page listing tons of quotes. (Thought I was going somewhere else there for a minute didn't ya'?) And this one caught my eye. I've read it before but I still reacted as if I was just seeing it for the first time. Laughed my ass off. Almost choked on a mouthful of iced tea.

"Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?". It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve." ~Andy Rooney

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously?

I was at my children’s disposal all morning. Doing laundry, cleaning, etc.. but I was there for them to bug if need be. No one really had much to say to me. Sydney had her friend MiMi here, the boys were busy playing video games or running around in the back yard.

I make sure all children are INDOORS and hit the shower. I’m under the spray less than a minute and I hear the unmistakable sound of little feet running down the hallway towards the bathroom door. I hear a muffled, “Moooooooom!!!!!” I holler “WHAT???”. I have to or whatever child is out there will never hear me. And he or she will never leave. “Can I make some ramen????”, hollers said child (Sydney). “Yes!!”

I hear the pitter patter of little feet going the other way and continue to try and enjoy my shower. Not a minute later I again hear little feet. I sigh audibly and hear “MOOOOOOM!!!!” (Riley) “WHAT????”. I try not to sound angry but I’m getting a little annoyed. “Sydney won’t make me some ramen too!!!”, said in a whine. “Jesus.”, I mutter to myself. “Tell your sister that I SAID she can make you some too.”

Alone again I begin to wash my hair. And guess what I hear??? Yep. Little feet. “MOOOOOOM!!!!!” (Sydney) Now I AM annoyed. “WHAT Sydney????”. “Do I haaaaaaave to make Riiiley ramen???”, more whining!!! So I diplomatically holler, “YES!! You have to make Riley ramen and if you don’t leave me to shower IN PEACE you can make his AND Logan’s lunch for the rest of the week!!!!!”

I hear some muttering from her, I’m sure cursing me, but she walks (stomps!) away. MY GOD!!! They aren’t toddlers for heaven sakes!! I should be able to take a shower uninterrupted at least once a day!

Wow..

Has it really been a week since I blogged?

I started this blog as a scrapbooking blog. My main focus was going to be the things I was working on, techniques I was trying and layouts I was planning. I knew there would be other "stuff". Every day Mom stuff, kid stuff. But I never expected it would take the turn it did.

At the risk of sounding corny I can't help but think of a quote from one of my all time favorite movies. "Life is like a box of chocolates...", need I say more? So I was thrown a curve ball. It happens. I'm coping. Better than I was just a few short months ago. A lot better:)

Someone said something to me once that struck a cord with me. They said that part of their success was a result of surrounding themselves with positive people. And I thought about some of the people I'd allowed into my life in the past. Don't anyone have a cow I am not referring to anyone who might be reading this. At least I don't think I am. Ya' never know. I'm fairly certain though.

I have allowed some truly negative people into my life. I allowed their negativity to drag me down. I allowed them to suck the life out of me in some cases. No wonder I felt like crap all the time. It was like a V8 moment. I literally slapped myself in the head (not too hard cause I had a headache). My problem is I want to "fix" people and things. And I actually fancy myself quite good at it. I'm probably being a bit too generous thinking that.

I was always the "yes" girl. "Yes I'll babysit for you.", "Yes I'll watch your 4 kids for a week". And during that week it rained FOUR out of the five days. I had EIGHT kids to entertain. Oy. Ok we DID have fun in the end. But really? Rain? FOUR out of five days??? What had I done to offend the Gods??

I'm still more than happy to help a friend in need but I reserve it for the friends I think are REALLY my friends. Anywho... I went off on a tangent didn't I. I just consumed a Three Musketeer bar and I think the chocolate and sugar have given me a buzz. :)

What was the point I was trying to make? Oh... I'm feeling better. I'm not so afraid, I don't cry much at all anymore and I have a confidence in myself I haven't had in a long time. I know I have a long road ahead of me and it won't be easy. But I'll get through it. :)

Lazy Mom Moment...

Shortly after I arrived home late this morning from Deb's I threw in a load of laundry. I just went downstairs to switch it to the dryer. (Yes I know it was probably done a good hour ago.. hush!) When I opened the dryer I saw that someone (ok probably me) had left a small.... ish load inside of it. I was so not in the mood to fold clothes. I stared into the dryer for about thirty seconds and said "the hell with it" and threw the wet clothes in on top of the others.

My theory was the other clothes would dry faster because the dry clothes would help absorb some of the moisture. Makes sense? Right? No? Ok.. maybe not but it's my story and I'm stickin' to it. :)

Oh and one more thing... will someone explain to me why, in the midst of what has been a somewhat hellishly hot and humid summer, I found a SNOW SUIT in one of the hampers???? WTH????