Saturday, December 4, 2010

Who THE HELL does this man think he is????????

HE wanted a divorce. HE has gone out of his way to be the biggest d**k I have ever had the displeasure of knowing. HE has taken EVERYTHING he possibly could away from me. HE has threatened me, insulted me and made me feel like I am somehow less of a person. He then had the AUDACITY to get angry because I took the bull by the horns and got an attorney. I’m sorry (scratching head)… isn’t that what one generally does in the event of a divorce???? Seems like a completely logical and SMART move to me.

I don’t know the first thing about divorce laws in this state. I never thought I’d have any use for this knowledge so I didn’t seek it out. HE was threatening me again and again and again with taking my kids, kicking me out, telling me it would be in the best interest of the kids if *I* left and gave him the kids and the house. And he wouldn’t even ask me for child support. (said in a tone that clearly stated I should jump at such an offer) EXCUSE ME???? F**k you buddy. I’m NOT going anywhere.

The only way he is getting custody of my kids it to pry them from my cold, dead arms. HE can take his sorry, pathetic ass and LEAVE. In my NOT so humble opinion the only person who should make ANY sacrifices is HIM. He wanted out, so he can GET OUT.

He tries to play the wronged man. But he’s a lousy actor so it comes off as childish, sulkish and just plain idiotic. I FREELY admit that my own mistakes contributed to the failure of my marriage. However HE takes no blame. I think that is what pisses me off the most. His INANE notion that he has done no wrong and has just been the perfect husband and father all of these years…. Hmmmm…..


Not even close!!!!! I could write a novel outlining his mistakes, faults and neurotic issues. From his compete inability to empathize with anyone to the emotional cripple that he is. At one time I believed that despite his inability to show empathy and emotion he DID feel these things. I was WRONG. He is incapable of feeling them. Ice runs through his veins.

I could sit here and tell you how he rarely put any effort or thought into holiday, birthday and anniversary gifts. I’m not talking about how much he spent. I’m talking about his complete inability after nearly TWENTY years to come up with a gift for me that I’d actually like. The only way I’d get something I really wanted would be to make him a detailed list, often with pictures for a visual aid. I’d even FIND said items for him (at the least expensive price) and tell him where to find them. This would annoy him so some years I’d refrain. Sure enough that would be the year that I’d get something I didn’t want or need. But I’d smile. Nod. Say thank you. All the while thinking to myself.. “Really??? After ALL these years you STILL don’t know what I like????”

But I always believed down to my very core that he loved me and he was just.. well… a guy. But there were other things. Things that should have given me a clue about who he really is. He never defended me. I have been insulted by his family, his friends, mutual friends… RIGHT in front of him and he did nothing. Often he’d agree and/or laugh with these people. At MY expense!!! Me? I’d get my panties in a bunch if anyone DARED to insult him. I could say whatever the hell I wanted too about him. But no one else could. And I had no problem rippin’ someone a new one if they said the wrong thing about my husband.

He’ll tell you he doesn’t like confrontation. I say he’s just a coward. Afraid to go up against someone for fear of pissing them off. But pissing me off; his wife, the mother of his six children, the woman who gave up everything to raise her family while HE climbed the corporate ladder; pissing me off and hurting me are perfectly acceptable. What a d**k!!!!

WHY did I stay??? WHY didn’t I walk away years ago?? Simple. Because I loved him. And I promised to love him through everything, the good and the bad. And I did so in the presence of God and our families. I took that seriously. I made my fair share of mistakes. I admit that. But so did he. He obviously did NOT take it seriously.

So I’m sick to death of his holier than thou, my shit doesn’t stink attitude. F**k you asshole. You can word it any way you want. The bottom line still is that YOU are walking out on this family. YES. THIS FAMILY. Not just me. But your kids as well. YOU are changing the dynamics of their entire world. YOU are 150% responsible for that. *I* would have stayed in counseling for YEARS if that’s what it had taken to fix our marriage. YOU gave up after three lousy sessions. YOU decided that YOU were more important than this FAMILY.

So take your lousy attitude and stick it where the sun don’t shine. You have NO right to be bitter. NONE.

1 comment:

  1. I had a similar rant at my ex, over the phone, after he told me he wouldn't keep the kids while I took a class because I *choose* to get a divorce. I told HIM that *HE* choose drugs and alcohol over our family and so no, I was not the one that choose "this"
    I don't know about the divorce laws up there, but I do know that in Texas, he who files for custody first usually gets it.