Oh boy...

It’s started. The tween years have officially come full swing. My little diva was holed up in her room surrounded by poster covered walls with her CD player CRANKED. I was in the kitchen. The room directly below her room. And I could hear every freakin’ word clearly. Time to do what my Dad did to me. Grab a broom, bang on the ceiling with it and holler… “TURN THAT DAMN MUSIC DOWN!!!!!!!!”

Her response was to come down to the kitchen and rummage through the pantry in search of “something good to eat”. Which was apparently not something in the pantry. She finally, grudgingly, settled on a PB and J sandwich. A staple in this house. Personally, though as a child I actually liked the things, I now can’t stomach the smell or site of them let alone take a bite of one. Aside from the sugar in the jam wreaking havoc on my teeth the smell makes me want to gag.

As she was walking towards the fridge for the jam she slid on God knows what (she’s my daughter so for all we know she tripped over her own two feet) and landed flat on her ass. Silence followed in which I tried, desperately, not to erupt into giggles. Sydney, in true drama queen form, collapsed into a puddle of tears as I lost the battle with said giggles.

I know, I know.. I’m awful. But honestly I knew she was ok because there was a delay between her hitting the floor and the tears. And around here, as a family of klutzes, there’s always someone falling on the floor or banging into something. I’ve learned to discern the difference between the “I’m so embarrassed cry.” and the “I’m really in pain cry.”

Further proof that she’s fine.. She is now happily consuming her PB and J watching some mindless Disney Channel tween flick. Completely dry eyed. Imagine that.

Parenthood

My Aunt once told me that nothing will ever bring you more joy and more pain than your children...

Today I was reminded yet again why some animals eat their young.

I just got off the phone with the buffoon. HE had just gotten off the phone with a very nice police officer from Lower Providence Township. It seems my eldest son and his friends decided it would be great fun to loiter outside of the local WaWa at two o’clock in the morning.

The officer was quick to point out that the boys weren’t doing anything wrong and they had only received citations for breaking curfew. They are all under 18. He also said since Cody has never been in trouble with the law before (not anything that stuck that is) that the best course of action will be for him to plead “not guilty” and the judge will likely sentence him to community service and there will possibly be a fine. Which HE will pay.

And my dear son, is in for a rude awakening. He is now under some SERIOUS restrictions. And he WILL find his ass a job within ONE WEEK or I’ll make his life a living hell and he’ll lose even more privileges. While I am grateful they weren’t robbing the joint and I didn’t have to go bail their sorry little tushes out of jail I will not make light of this. He will be held accountable. If I make light of it there may be a next time and it could be worse.

Cody is unaware that I know what happened. This occurred last night/this morning. (Gee, I can’t imagine why he didn’t call me to tell me his wonderful news.) He isn’t home yet. Nicholas (one of the other offenders) is bringing him home sometime tonite. Now I could make a big fuss and go drag his ass home now. But I’d rather lie in wait here. Let him think I know nothing yet. Then spring it on him. Plus I really don’t feel like making the forty-five minutes drive up and back with the price of gas where it is.

PMS makes me more evil than usual… (evil laugh)

Honestly...

How hard is it for people to mind their own effin' business???? Unless I ASK for your opinion of me or my life please don't assume that I am just yearning for you to share said opinions with me. I'm not.

I have a very select group of friends that I call my inner circle. Some are strictly on line connections but I have been connected to them for as many as a dozen years. Some are real life friends whom I see on a regular enough basis.

One would think that something I refer to as my inner circle would require stellar personalities and moral compasses. Eh.. I prefer someone be a good person, trying to live a good life and that they take care of their own business. Aside from that I'm flexible. Oh and did I mention this candidate and I have to click.

Therein lies part of my problem. I don't click with all that many people. AND I am more apt to click with men. There's nothing tawdry or unsavory about that. I simply relate better to men. They're simple and sometimes stupid creatures but they're not going to get pissed off at you because you weight thirty pounds less than they do or you happen to be wearing the same shirt.

So this inner circle. These are the people I trust implicitly. The people I turn to when I need to scream and cry. Or when I want to giggle and laugh. I'm content with my small circle. I don't need a ton of friends. Personally I think too many best friends leads to confrontations and hurt feelings. And sharing too much of yourself with too many people can have far reaching consequences one can't even begin to fathom in the moment.

Apparently I must have, on a subconscious level, led someone who shall remain nameless, to the conclusion that I was interested in their rather harsh opinion of me. Imagine that.

Now I respect everyone's right to their own opinions and beliefs. Even when they pertain to me. But I find it unnecessary to be subjected to these opinions. Particularly from someone who really doesn't know me. So in true sarcastic, humor laced Michelle fashion I calmly informed this person that I really didn't see any reason why I needed to defend myself to her but I'd play along. (I'm paraphrasing and abbreviating here)

Well.. my goodness. I hit a nerve. She responded with venom spewing. If I hadn't been so flummoxed and amused by her behavior I may have been insulted. And maybe I was. Just a teensy bit. So I told her in so many words to shove her opinion up her ass and to have a wonderful night. :)~ (And yes I added the smiley face with the tongue.) May as well maintain a high level of sarcasm for my little buddy.

Sweetie... let me reiterate. Please remove your head from your ass and then stick your baseless opinion of me up there instead.

Finding my way...

I'm making lists again. I've figured out this is one of my coping mechanisms. Making lists is a stress reliever for me. Is that odd??

I have my BTS list started (Back to school)
I have my everyday "To Do" list started

I'm working, once again, on my FlyLady inspired "control journal". This is like the be all and end all of "To Lists". You keep everything in there. I know I can use my cell phone to do in essence the same thing but in this one respect (and maybe one or two others) I am old school. I like writing things down. I like have something tangible in my hands. A cell phone just doesn't cut it.

Don't get me wrong. My cell phone is my life line. If I accidentally leave the house without it I feel naked. If I'm close enough when I discover my faux paus I turn around to go back and get it. This is probably not something I should be bragging about. Our parents and their parents before them survived parenthood without the modern day convenience of cell phones.

I see seven and eight year olds at the end of the school day texting from snazzy fancy cell phones that are nicer than mine. What in Sam Hill does a seven or eight year old need a cell phone for??? Are they often out on their own without a responsible adult?????? Ok the argument could be made that it would come in handy if said child were to find themselves lost in a mall or theme park. But really??? Do they need it IN school?? Where their entire day is policed by teachers and other support personal?? I don't think so. But apparently this opinion makes me uncool.

Wow... it's happened. I have become my parents. The one thing I have fought against my entire life. I have become the parent who knows it all, has no idea what it's like to be a teenager in THIS world and is a blithering idiot in the eyes of their children. Yay me. What an achievement. I know someone, somewhere is thinking "that IS an achievement!!" Please free to tell me that.

I suppose I should consider myself lucky. Unhappy children are generally safe children. Yeah, that came out wrong. Children who are supervised and disciplined accordingly when some transgression has occurred are, generally speaking, more successful than those children who were raised in a permissive environment where the word "no" didn't exist. Wow... that sounds harsh huh? And a tad bit superior. Eh.. I call them like I see them.

This doesn't mean I haven't been known to give into a temper tantrum simply to gain a little peace. As Bill Cosby said in "Bill Cosby: Himself", "Parents aren't interested in justice. Parents just want quiet!!" (I'm paraphrasing) But tell me it isn't true at least some of the time??

Some days I don't care who did what. As long as no one is bleeding, showing exposed bone and I don't smell smoke I just want them all to sit the hell down and BE QUIET for a little while!!!! And if I have to give in to some outrageous demand like a pony as a pet I'm going to give in to it!! Hence the reason we have a small menagerie of animals and have had more than this at one time or another.

We currently have one dog, two cats, a guinea pig and a gecko. We HAVE had in the past five years. Two other dogs, five other cats, two ferrets, two bunnies, two guinea pigs and two turtles. So you see how often I cave into temper tantrums (and sometimes just sweet faces pleading with me). Mind you I only punish myself further since I'M the one who primarily cares for all the fur kids. Imagine that.

I've created a monster...

The diva is home. The buffoon took her and her two younger brothers out for the day. Well.. the diva saw that I'd been busy at working sorting crafty stuff and thought she would help. She disappeared for a few minutes and then came walking back into the kitchen looking for all the world like the Chesire cat, with her arms full of more stuff. "Look Mommy.. MORE scrap stuff!!" Me: "Oh honey...", pained grin, "Thank you so much...". (Someone shoot me now!)

I have no idea where the hell I am going to store this crap so I can actually use it without creating a mess each and every time I want to do something crafty. I need a bigger house. With one WHOLE room I can devote to all things crafty. I don't think that's a lot to ask. Is it?

The diva is back... staring at me with that expectant look on her face. She thinks we're going to scrap NOW. Umm.. no. It's after 10 PM. I have a boatload of laundry to do and I have to empty the kitchen of the craft paraphernalia so that it can actually function as a kitchen tomorrow.

Remind me why I started this project again? And why, in the name of all that is good and holy, did I introduce my daughter to scrapbooking???? :)~

I am on a mission...

...did anyone else just hear the theme song from Jaws????

I have no idea what I was thinking when I embarked on this mission. I decided, rather on a whim, that I simply HAD to organize all of my "crafty stuff". I'm cursing my previous brilliance.

Yeah... wow... I had NO IDEA how much I really had. And the scary thing is I KNOW there's more of it all over the house. Hidden in baskets, boxes, plastic bins, etc. I don't even want to THINK about the amount of money that went into this stuff. Gulp.

So.. my mission. Sort, organize, PUT AWAY. Create a space SOMEWHERE that I can sit comfortably and create in. That last one may be a pipe dream but we'll see. I MUST sell SOME of this stuff via eBay. I have things I will never use. I have things that if pressed I couldn't tell you when or where I obtained them. I am a self admitted, certifiable craft addict. They say the first step is admitting you have a problem.

I have surrounding me at this very moment. (and remember this doesn't include the above mentioned hidden stash) scrapbooking stuff (and THIS encompasses a variety of items), bottle cap stuff (again more than one item), bow stuff, knitting stuff, crocheting stuff, assorted kid crafts... need I say more. So tonite it's time to put together some "lots" of goodies and get listin' on eBay.

No. I am NOT selling my Cricut Expression nor any of my carts. :) I said I was on a mission not that I wanted to rip my heart out.

I WILL have some bow goodies for sure and anything else I can conjure up.

Daddy Update...

Mortality stares ya' in the face when you realize your parents won't be hear forever.

My Dad is in the hospital again. He's been there since Friday. He had an episode at work Thursday evening. He should NOT have been at work but he is a STUBBORN man. (That's where I get it from..) He drove himself home and probably shouldn't have. Again, he's stubborn.

He decided not to go to the ER and just see his PCP the next morning as planned. The PCP took one look at him, looked at the records from the hospital and promptly sent him off to the ER. The ER doctor was stunned that the previous doc (at a different hospital) had sent my Dad home in the first place.

A cat scan showed more than one clot in his lungs. A blood test done at the first hospital had revealed elevated levels of something I can't pronounce or spell nor can my mother. However this level was back down to zero as of Friday so it seems to be less of a concern to the doctors right now. BUT.. elevated levels of this, whatever the hell it is, can be an indication of a problem with the heart.

They'll be doing an echocardiogram in the morning to see if there are any indications that there are clots in his heart. The thought of which terrifies me and I haven't even looked that possibility up yet. They can't do a cardiac cath because of the blood thinners he is on. Which he will apparently be on for three months.

Now mind you I'm getting my information second hand and I do intend to try and speak with his doctor(s) at some point. The kids and I will be spending a day at my parents place this week. I offered to just bring one or two kids but they want them all, if they're willing. I have a feeling they will be. Should make for an interesting day.

So.. that is where things stand right now. I will update as necessary:)